If you have heard it once, you have heard it an hundred times, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
I remember when I had myself convinced that I was not a gossip like others I knew. Then for some reason I chose one day to face the ugly truth that the definition of gossip is "to go about tattling or talking idly about other people's affairs." Within that definition there is no quantity mentioned. It does not say "frequently" or "profusely" talking about other people's affairs.
In other words, even the smallest amount of tattling still qualifies as gossip. And why do I mention this in a blog that is supposed to be business-focused?
Simply put… Gossip impacts your business in a negative way.
It does not matter how much money you make or do not make right now; you cannot afford to gossip.
If you have yet to sponsor anyone into your business, you cannot afford to gossip because people will fear what you will say about them behind their back, and they will not want to be on your team. If you have a huge down line of direct sellers, you cannot afford to gossip because secretly people will not consider you to be a leader worth following.
Ultimately, gossip limits your income because it narrows your persuasive influence, and interestingly enough, gossip narrows your persuasive influence with your own self more than anyone else. The reason why: It always leaves you feeling worse than you felt before you said anything.
Years ago I did a test – anytime I caught myself saying something negative about someone else, I would ask myself why I said it. Every single time my gut response was the same. I had hoped in some way that I would feel better about myself once I said it. Then I would ask myself whether or not I felt better. Every single time my response was the same – definitely not.
It seems to me that so many of us have a big enough challenge getting past ourselves. Time and time again direct sellers and network marketers confess to me that the biggest obstacle in the way is their own self.
Anytime the self is in the way, you can safely bet that self-esteem is running low.
NEWSFLASH! You will never improve your self-esteem as long as are saying things about others that ultimately leave you feeling worse about yourself than before.
Do you really want to move ahead in the fast lane?
If so, start looking for the good in people, and start by looking for all the good in you. You will notice that even when you falter, there is always a reason behind it. When I lash out at my husband it is typically because I am upset with something I have done wrong, and I want to convince myself that someone besides me is at cause.
Does that make me a flawed individual? Well, certainly I understand that there is room for improvement, but what I have come to understand is that there is always a reason behind my unacceptable behavior. And although it is not easy, I have learned, and I continually re-learn to give myself a break.
When you examine your own self and you start to give yourself a break, you will find that it is so easy to do the same for others.
Sometimes people act poorly because they are over-tired. Sometimes people act poorly because they are stressed out. Sometimes people act poorly simply because they do not know better.
One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Maya Angelou – "If I'd known better, I'd have done better."
Being better to yourself is the first step to stop gossiping. When you stop being so hard on yourself, it is so much easier to be more forgiving to others because you understand that they would have done better, if they had known better.
Step up to the plate! Stop talking about how unhelpful and unfriendly your sponsor, or your upline, or that other leader is, and start affirming that they would do better, if they knew better.
When you begin recognizing the potential in others, they feel your support and oftentimes respond in the most amazing way.
There may be times you gossip. Forgive yourself and know that there can be times you stop yourself from gossiping. The times you stop yourself will grace you because you will feel better about yourself and about others.
When you feel good about who you are and who others are, you become a beckon of light that others desire to follow!