Interestingly enough, the first few times I had class with him I didn't understand why he had such a following – he plays the music so loud that even with earplugs one can find it irritating, and he plays one obnoxious heavy metal sounding song after another.

My first assumption was that the majority of his followers must be in their twenties, and that's why they could tolerate one extremely LOUD Linkin Park song after another. But as I looked around and got to know people in the class, I discovered that many of them were in their forties and fifties, and several in their sixties. Sure, there are some young twenty year olds, but they are hardly the majority.

I was not making any headway in understanding his success until one day I noticed just how hard I pushed myself during those loud and wild tunes. Not long after that I realized that unlike other instructors, Mr. Motivator never plays a nice mellow tune after one of the high intensity songs. And then one Monday morning he said something that cracked the code for me.

Right after we had worked ourselves silly and were at the point of collapsing, he yelled, "Stay standing and don't let off any resistance – recover while working." Recover while working. Recover while working. Do you grasp the power in that phrase?

The reason why he selects groups like Linkin Park (that I now love), and the reason he plays the music so loud is because it coincides with his philosophy to recover while working. And the reason he manages to get 20% more out of me than any other instructor is that I always recover while I'm working, when I'm in his class.

If you're wondering how this relates to you and your direct selling business, let me explain.

Just like my spin instructor, the top people in your direct sales organization are getting 20% more from their team members than other leaders in the company. That's why those top producers have million dollar units and/or promote other successful units from their own. And the top people in any company understand the power in taking a break while working.

Oftentimes direct sellers make a few phone calls,  secure a booking or a couple of appointments, and then reward themselves for their accomplishment by taking a break from working their business. If those same salespeople understood the power in taking a break while working, they would pick up the phone and call another five potential prospects right after securing those first appointments and/or bookings.

At this point you might be wondering, "How is it that making another five phone calls can be equated with taking a break?" I am so glad you asked.

First, taking a break is more of a mental activity than it is a physical one. For example, the other day when Mr. Motivator told us to "recover while working," I let my mind relax, I took a few deep breaths, and before I knew it, I didn't feel like I was working so hard, even though my heart rate monitor said differently.

Likewise, when you pick up the phone to make another 5 prospecting calls after you have just secured a booking, the pressure is off. No matter what anyone tells you from that point on, you get to end with a success. Mentally you can relax, and therefore, you absolutely can view this as taking a break.

Second, taking a break is a subjective decision. You get choose what "taking a break" looks like. No one else can decide that for you. This is going to sound crazy to some of you, but one of the ways I take a break is to make a gourmet meal from the latest Bon Appetit magazine. That may not sound like "taking a break,", but for me it's a subjective choice that I made a long time ago, and ever since then, I get to feel like I'm goofing off when I'm making a fancy dinner.

When you make a subjective choice to view the extra five calls that you make everyday as "a well deserved break," it will amaze you how much you enjoy making them. You won't feel the pressure to MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN, and consequently, guess what often happens? Yes, something worth shouting about.

If you are looking for ways to take your business to a new level this year, this is a BIG idea to implement. Find ways to recover while you work, and prepare to be amazed. As you relax and enjoy your work, your business grows in wonderful new ways, and you discover that you are capable of far more than you ever dreamed you were. AH! Now surely that's reason enough to recover while working! 

Now my long-time subscribers know, I am going to tell you why she was nervous, and I am also going to show you why she had good reason to be. The interesting thing is that I would be willing to bet a large sum of money that she thought she was nervous because she was afraid I was going to tell her, “No.” But the real reason she was nervous was because she had not thought of any compelling reasons for me to tell her, “Yes.”

In a nutshell (My husband has probably just gone into cardiac arrest after reading those words… he’s never heard me put anything into a nutshell!), my hairdresser is moving to a different salon, and she wants me to follow her to her new location. She may not have been as nervous to talk to some of her other clients, as she was to talk to me because she knows that I adore the place where I get my hair done. You see, it’s the same place where I go to workout every day – LifeTime Fitness (She would have been even more nervous, if she knew that I use situations like this as teaching points in my weekly Sales Refinery Insights)!

What I want you to imagine right now is that I have been cutting and styling your hair for over a year. Then today I call you and say,

“Hi Tammy, this is Tammy from the hair salon. Uhm, hey I’m calling because I’m going to be moving to a different salon. Yeah, things here have just gotten really bad. The management here is just all mixed up. It’s just bad. Trust me, it’s bad. Uhm, yeah, I don’t like what I’m seeing here. I mean they’re raising the percentage of what they take and I’m just not earning any money. I mean I’m practically paying them to work here.”

Okay, time out. Are you sold yet? Are you ready to just follow me anywhere? (If so, I am thinking that you might like to get to know my hairdresser!) Just for a second here, reflect on how you felt, when I was telling you about leaving my current hair salon location. I bet you knew as soon as I mentioned going to another hair salon that I was going to ask you to remain my customer. When I went on and on about how lousy the place was where I was working, instead of asking you to remain my customer, how did that make you feel?

You have probably figured out by now that my hairdresser’s “pitch” to me was what I pretended to say to you. And I have to tell you it really ticked me off when she complained that she was not making any money. I know how much I pay for her services at the salon, and her complaints about not earning any money irked me. Do you know why? Since I pay rather heftily for her services, it felt like she was saying that I don’t pay her enough. After that phone conversation I calculated what she earns per hour, even if Lifetime pays her only 30% of what they charge. Guess what? She earns a ton more money than the guys who are sweating bullets right now replacing an air conditioning unit in my attic!

After my hairdresser figured out that she had complained enough, she informed me that the salon she was moving to was cute and neat. Okay, if you were looking to have a great haircut because your job required you to be in front of audiences all the time, would your first concern about a salon be that it is cute and neat? Cute and neat were the compelling reasons she gave me to follow her to a new location. OH PLEASE!

Now you might think I am being tough on my hairdresser, but she spends two hours with me every month. Hey, that is what my top coaching clients get with me. She knows what I do. But you see, obviously she does not care enough to think of reasons why it is important FOR ME to have her as a hairdresser. And interestingly enough, because she has never bothered to learn more about me, she never really knew who was sitting in her chair every month and how much I could have helped her to get more business.

I guess I should mention that she also let me know that she would have a discount for me the first time I went to her new location. I never heard what the discount was, never heard if the new price for getting my hair done there would be higher, lower, or the same as at LifeTime. I hardly find that a compelling reason to switch.

I am the customer dog gone it! SELL ME. Do not make me do your job for you by coming up with all the questions. As a salesperson, put yourself in your customer’s shoes and think like that customer. Think of all the questions your customer might have and answer them, without your customer having to ask. And please do not make the customer ask, “Well how much is the discount for?” That makes her sound like she is cheap. Some customers may not care if they sound cheap, but plenty do care.

If I could give my hairdresser only one piece of advice to help her keep her customers during this transition, it would be this, “Prospects and customers do not do business with you because they understand you, they do business with you because you understand them!” Unfortunately the vast majority of salespeople think their customers need to understand them. That is why my hairdresser felt it necessary to give all kinds of reasons why she was leaving the spa at LifeTime Fitness. She thought I needed to understand her. She was wrong. It would have been the easiest sale ever if she had just shown me in a couple of ways that she knew and understood me:

“Hi Tammy, this is your hairdresser. Because you are one of my preferred customers I wanted to let you know that I’ll be moving to a new salon on May 20th. I would love to keep you as a customer because I know how important it is for you to have a great look in front of your many audiences – I remember the frustrations you went through to find someone like me who knows how to work with red hair, and I know how important it is for you to have a hairdresser you can count on with your busy schedule. The salon I’m moving to will still be close to you, and I’d like to offer you a free eyebrow wax with your first visit. Would you like to give it a try, Tammy, and make your next appointment at my new location?

* That person got started with the company at the beginning so, of course, he/she has the biggest organization in the company!

* That person is at the top because he/she works this business all the time and leaves the spouse to take care of all the family chores and the children.

* That person is at the top because he/she is single and doesn’t have the time commitment of taking care of a family.

* That person gets all the best leads from the company

You probably noticed a similar theme in each of these statements – the person at the top somehow has a seemingly more advantageous situation, which explains his/her success. If you had the opportunity to ask the people who are at the top of any company what they considered to be the most important thing they did to get to the top of the company, what do you think they would say?

When one of my million dollar producers was on a cruise ship alongside all the top producers in the company one year, she decided not to imbibe in the mimosas that were offered that morning and instead to interview all the top producers to discover the ONE THING they did that others did not do to get to the top (I guess I do not need to explain WHY SHE was one of the top managers in the company, do I?).

It turns out that the vast majority of them all said the exact same thing. Interestingly, no one said it was due to his/her uncanny ability to conjure up luck any time he/she needed it.

The one activity that the vast majority of top leaders do that others do not is they continually generate NEW business, no matter what. Even if they have a full calendar, they continually work at finding and getting new business. If they have a good sales team, they still continually work at getting new business. If they are one of the select few to go on a reward trip for the top leaders in the company, they still continually work at generating new business.

Top salespeople understand that they must, at first, learn to feel comfortable doing the uncomfortable.Playing it safe and hiding behind current success fails to attract new prospect’s attention.  These top performers talk to strangers even before they are any good at it. They seize the phone even without courage. (Check out my most requested book- CARPE PHONUM!) They step outside their comfort zone even when they do not want to.

It is true that some people are truly gifted – take Mozart for example. He wrote his first symphony (No. 1 in E-flat major, KV. 16) at age eight.  However, if you are thinking that he started taking music lessons at age seven, and that he ran around outside like a typical elementary student, you are way off base.

Leopold Mozart began instructing his son, Wolfgang Mozart at age two, and unlike other preschoolers, Wolfgang was never seen outside playing. He worked and practiced at music day and night night and day from the time he was two until his death at age 35. He was not lucky (in fact, you would consider him anything but that after reading his life story). Mozart was, however, extremely diligent, no matter what chaotic circumstance was going on in his life – indeed, even during the most stressful times of his life, he wrote his most influential music.

Top performers do not give themselves an OUT; they get up every day and put themselves back IN the game and on the playing field.

Too many people keep waiting until the moment when they feel they are ready to make calls, for a better time to call, for the day when they feel good about prospecting. The key is to realize that none of that ever happens until you start practicing and stop waiting.

I believe the reason why leaders are often presented as people who have an advantageous situation is because those who are not in the leadership position believe that once they get to the top they will be able to rest on their laurels. Therefore, people assume that the leaders at the top are resting, just as they are secretly hoping they will be able to do one day.

NEWSFLASH! The people at the top are not resting. Top leaders consistently do what others do not. They consistently look for new prospects, yes, even when they’re at the top!

If you think about the selling, booking, and recruiting conversations that are going on in the direct selling industry, the vast majority of them are about causing interest and generating a sale, a booking, or a recruit. So let me ask you, would that inspire you, if you were on the other side of that conversation, if you were the prospect or the customer? I would be willing to bet it would not.

There really is not anything inspiring about someone trying to sell you something. Think back to the last time someone tried to sell you something. If I recall correctly, the last time someone tried to sell me something I was at Starbucks. The clerk said, "Would you like a pastry with that?" "No," I replied, quite uninspired.

There really is not anything inspirational about someone trying to book a party with you. Think back to the last time someone tried to get you to book a party. Most likely you were asked, "Do you wanna book a party?" I don't know about you, but if someone asked me that, I would probably say, "My schedule is just too full right now." Do I need to mention that the conversation, "Do you wanna book a party?" leaves me uninspired? I probably do not need to mention that.

There really is not anything inspirational about someone trying to recruit you. I can remember a few direct sellers who told me, "You should sell this. Our company is so blah, blah, blah." I can remember thinking, "Oh, so you're going to tell me what I should do. Who are you? My parent?" If you are at all like me, you really do not appreciate it when people who barely know you start telling you what you should do. That is what I call a conversation that leaves me totally uninspired.

But check this out. A while back I received this email from a direct seller:

"Okay sheepish girl… are you avoiding me now? Tammy… you know how much I love and adore you, girlfriend. I don't plan of letting you out of my life now, chica!!! Listen, I'm in the East Valley for my next sample sale on Wednesday (7/14)… come by for a margarita or some munchies… see me and my sale items… let's find some time in our amazingly busy lives to connect!!!"

When I finished reading that email, I felt loved, appreciated and truly deeply inspired to connect with this awesome salesperson. And yes, I did go to Jill Mapstead's Silpada sample sale, and I bought, and by the time I got home I was texting her a message to expand my order (I realized that one of the things I had just bought for me I also needed to buy for my amazing mom!). Hmm… there was something about that conversation, albeit an email conversation, that inspired me to fit in visiting Jill at her sample sale, even though I really did not feel I had the time that day to do so.

You see it is all in your conversations!

What is your intent in that conversation? Are you simply trying to generate interest in that person buying from you, booking with you, or selling for you?

What if your intent in that conversation was to create the possibility of the person in front of you feeling inspired? Might that not change the nature of your conversations? I maintain that it would. In fact, I believe it would not only change the nature of your conversations, it would change the relationships you have with your prospects and your customers. Yes, they might become REAL relationships!

We often say that this is a relationship business, but are we really truly demonstrating that in our conversations? Are we seeking to leave people inspired or are we just trying to get to the next level?

Right now I am standing for the possibility of my subscribers being the best direct sellers in the industry! I stand for my subscribers now having unreasonable conversations in which they seek to create value by acknowledging the people who show up in their lives as prospects and customers.

Please grasp that those people who show up in your life as prospects and customers are actually PEOPLE. They want to feel appreciated as much as you do. They have so many of the same needs and desires that you do.

You have the opportunity to make a difference in their lives by seeing them as the individuals they are and not just as prospects and customers. THAT is the reason to call them. THOSE are the conversations you want to have – conversations that leave people feeling touched and inspired.

"How can I psyche myself up to make calls at night when I'm tired, I've been working all day, and the last thing I want to do is get on the phone and talk to people?"

Before answering the actual question, I believe it is important to understand why these direct sellers and network marketers feel it necessary to ask this question in secret.

Have you ever noticed how the people in this industry love saying that they only work their business part-time?

Even top leaders brag how they only work the hours they want to work, and that they love earning full-time pay for part-time work. When others hear reports like that, they naturally assume that this business is easy for all those people who only work it part-time, and they cannot understand what is wrong with them – why can they not achieve the extraordinary in just a few hours a week like the top super stars?

AH! Can you see that you might feel embarrassed to admit that you struggle with the desire to spend any more time working, even if it is just part-time, when those around you appear to be doing so well by working part-time?

If you are already feeling overworked, certainly this industry can easily appeal to you because you hear how some people are earning a sizable income from working part-time, and you see this as a way out of a job that monopolizes your time and your energy. However, I am willing to bet that you are trying to figure out a way to motivate yourself to work your business after you get home from work.

Plenty of people in the field tell me: "I'm really finding it difficult to make the calls I need to make at night because I work so hard during the day. I'm hoping that what you said today will finally motivate me to just get on that phone from now on."

Surely you have heard the ol' saying, "insanity is doing the same things over and over but expecting different results." Well, expecting that you are going to come home from work tomorrow and suddenly feel motivated to call your customers is doing the same thing but expecting different results.

It is not motivation that you need. Obviously you are already motivated. My goodness – you are overworked yet you started a part-time business! It is time to recognize the fact that you are already highly motivated.

The problem is that you keep doing the same thing and expecting different results!

After you have worked all day it is only natural for you to walk into your home and want to relax. Indeed that voice inside your head will even tell you, "You need a break. You've worked all day. Besides your customers are coming home from work too and they don't want to be bothered by a salesperson!"

Just in case you did not realize it, that is the exact same voice that will practically give you a lashing when you head off to bed, "Well, well. Another night without you making a single call to any customer! Is this how you propose to pay off your starter kit? You know, if you weren't so lazy you could probably achieve something in this business. The first thing you HAVE to do when you get home from work tomorrow is to call your customers!"

The key here is to outsmart that little voice before you get home from work tomorrow because it is only going to convince you to take a break and to call your customers later.

So how do you outsmart that little voice inside your head? I thought you would never ask!

Take a list of 3-5 customer names and phone numbers with you to work. At lunchtime make 1-3 calls. Immediately after work make 2 more calls in your office before leaving or in your car before getting on the road. Then on your drive home you get to congratulate yourself for doing something to move your business ahead today.

When you cross the threshold of your home, you get to relax without a single ounce of guilt. Oh, and remember that little voice? For the first time in years it's silent. AH! Peace and quiet like you have never known – it is awesome!

Now I have to warn you… this may cause your business to move ahead rather dramatically. One direct seller began following this suggestion and 6 months later she had 9 people on her team. Another direct seller who implemented this simple technique recruited 7 people in 6 months.

The results can be rather impressive when you start doing something completely different than what you have always done before.

Make 3-5 calls every day but make them before you come home from work! When you do this, you force that nagging little voice to "take a hike" and you allow something else to take its place. And that something else is pure, unadulterated desire.

When you let your desire lead you, you discover new energy and creativity, and you just might find yourself arriving home and choosing to make a few more phone calls to your prospects and customers because you want to!

It probably goes without saying that doing something because you want to as opposed to doing something because you feel you have to produces decidedly different results!

However, while you might have thought of the ideal sales presentation, the ideal recruit, or the ideal customer, you probably never considered how those ideals might be getting in the way of you experiencing what you desire in your business.

I'll go ahead and begin with a definition as a reference point.

Ideal: Thought of as perfect or as a perfect model, exactly as one would wish.

Most likely that definition did not jump out and grab you because it is what you expected. What I want you to notice is that from the standpoint of "IDEAL," anything less than ideal is not only seen as something less than perfect, but also as something that is not good enough or not right!

This is where ideals get rather tricky – once you attempt to run your business from your ideals it is nearly impossible to experience your customers, your team, and even your company as ideal. In other words, your business will have a difficult time living up to your idea of "the perfect" or "the ideal" business. There will always be something or someone in it to keep you upset and/or dissatisfied.

You are never going to be able to control every situation or person. You can do a brilliantly persuasive demonstration, and the person who ordered $300 of products may cancel her order, if she loses her job the next day. You can be wonderfully supportive of a new recruit, and that individual may become overwhelmed and paralyzed by the personal responsibility required for a home business. You may be a stud at selling a line of products that your company decides to pull from the product line.

Because all of those situations are less than ideal, it is easy to see how situations like that create upset in your perception of your business. Far too often direct sellers and network marketers get stuck and stop their momentum, if they experience disappointment.

However, look at the possibilities that arise when you let go of your ideals and you replace them with values. The following definition might prove useful.

Value: That which is desirable or worthy of esteem for its own sake. A thing of quality, having intrinsic worth.

A while back I looked at replacing my ideals for values and I experienced a rather remarkable breakthrough. I could not help noticing that from the standpoint of my ideals, our house was less than adequate with its beat-up baseboards, its popcorn ceilings, and its cookie cutter outside appearance. However, by exchanging my ideals of "house" for my values of "home," I quickly realized that the things I value were clearly expressed – Mind, Self-Expression, Fun, and Joy.

The gorgeous musical instruments and the many bookcases in every room readily communicate our family's passion for Mind. The artwork collected from our travels around the world and all of our framed achievements highlight our appreciation of self-expression. The impressive number of board games, puzzles, and sports equipment clearly broadcasts, "Fun activities start here!"

By considering what I valued in a home as opposed to what constituted my ideal house, I realized that my joy filled my home. Do I need to mention that being awake to your joy creates far more possibilities than paying attention to your limitations? When you focus on the specific details of ideals you lose sight of the unlimited possibilities available from values.

As you move full swing into this year, I encourage you to take a moment right now to reflect on the values you wish to express in your business. When I looked at my work and business I knew immediately that I wanted to express Passion, Joy, Fun, and Gratitude.

Certainly I do not expect my values to be the same as yours, but let us pretend for a minute that they were.

If the person who ordered $300 of products calls to cancel her order the following day, your expression of gratitude that she called to tell you right away would most likely leave her with the impression that you are the quintessential professional. When customers start thinking of you as a model professional, can you see how they might feel inclined to tell more people about you?

If a new recruit ends up feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed by the personal responsibility required for a home business, your emphasis on fun and joy may be the magnet that pulls her to attend a monthly meeting, where she ultimately gets what she needs to overcome her initial resistance to personal growth.

If your company decides to pull your favorite product line from its collection, your commitment to passion for your business and customers could allow you to discover that you have the ability to get fascinated with your company's other products.

Unfortunately, your ideals about the way all orders should transpire, your ideals about "good recruits" and what they look like and what they achieve in their first 30 days, and your ideals about your company's policies and activities all get in the way of you creating and operating a direct sales or network marketing business that leaves you energized and ready to take on the world!

Take a few minutes today to notice some of the ideals you have in your business in the areas of your customers, your sponsor, your recruits, and your company.

Reflect on the times you felt frustrated in any of those areas and how your ideals got in the way by making situations or people wrong because they failed to meet your ideals. Then ponder on the values that would most inspire you in your business and commit to operating your direct sales or network marketing business with those values as your foundation.

If you have heard it once, you have heard it an hundred times, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

I remember when I had myself convinced that I was not a gossip like others I knew. Then for some reason I chose one day to face the ugly truth that the definition of gossip is "to go about tattling or talking idly about other people's affairs." Within that definition there is no quantity mentioned. It does not say "frequently" or "profusely" talking about other people's affairs.

In other words, even the smallest amount of tattling still qualifies as gossip. And why do I mention this in a blog that is supposed to be business-focused?

Simply put… Gossip impacts your business in a negative way.

It does not matter how much money you make or do not make right now; you cannot afford to gossip.

If you have yet to sponsor anyone into your business, you cannot afford to gossip because people will fear what you will say about them behind their back, and they will not want to be on your team. If you have a huge down line of direct sellers, you cannot afford to gossip because secretly people will not consider you to be a leader worth following.

Ultimately, gossip limits your income because it narrows your persuasive influence, and interestingly enough, gossip narrows your persuasive influence with your own self more than anyone else. The reason why: It always leaves you feeling worse than you felt before you said anything.

Years ago I did a test – anytime I caught myself saying something negative about someone else, I would ask myself why I said it. Every single time my gut response was the same. I had hoped in some way that I would feel better about myself once I said it. Then I would ask myself whether or not I felt better. Every single time my response was the same – definitely not.

It seems to me that so many of us have a big enough challenge getting past ourselves. Time and time again direct sellers and network marketers confess to me that the biggest obstacle in the way is their own self.

Anytime the self is in the way, you can safely bet that self-esteem is running low.

NEWSFLASH! You will never improve your self-esteem as long as are saying things about others that ultimately leave you feeling worse about yourself than before.

Do you really want to move ahead in the fast lane?

If so, start looking for the good in people, and start by looking for all the good in you. You will notice that even when you falter, there is always a reason behind it. When I lash out at my husband it is typically because I am upset with something I have done wrong, and I want to convince myself that someone besides me is at cause.

Does that make me a flawed individual? Well, certainly I understand that there is room for improvement, but what I have come to understand is that there is always a reason behind my unacceptable behavior. And although it is not easy, I have learned, and I continually re-learn to give myself a break.

When you examine your own self and you start to give yourself a break, you will find that it is so easy to do the same for others.

Sometimes people act poorly because they are over-tired. Sometimes people act poorly because they are stressed out. Sometimes people act poorly simply because they do not know better.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is by Maya Angelou – "If I'd known better, I'd have done better."

Being better to yourself is the first step to stop gossiping. When you stop being so hard on yourself, it is so much easier to be more forgiving to others because you understand that they would have done better, if they had known better.

Step up to the plate! Stop talking about how unhelpful and unfriendly your sponsor, or your upline, or that other leader is, and start affirming that they would do better, if they knew better.

When you begin recognizing the potential in others, they feel your support and oftentimes respond in the most amazing way.

There may be times you gossip. Forgive yourself and know that there can be times you stop yourself from gossiping. The times you stop yourself will grace you because you will feel better about yourself and about others.

When you feel good about who you are and who others are, you become a beckon of light that others desire to follow!

When asked what was the thing that motivated her to step on the gas, she replied that she finally went to the company's National Conference. When asked why she had waited so long before going to the National Conference she said, "No one ever asked me to go."

It is only natural for us to think that because everyone receives information about the company National Conference or Convention, everyone knows that he or she is welcome to attend. As natural as it is to think that, you want to train yourself to think differently.

Compare that now to a home party. When the hostess sends postcard invitations as well as an email invitation to all her friends, they probably all understand that she is hosting a product party, but very few of them will feel any real need to attend.

If that hostess were to pick up her telephone and quickly invite all of the people on her list, the response would be completely different. Her friends would feel like she really wanted them to attend because she took the time to personally invite them.

I coached my hostesses on this very topic. I would ask them what they typically do when they receive a postcard invitation to a home party. They would usually confess that they did not pay much attention to it. I would then tell them that calling their friends and personally inviting them would be far more persuasive.

I then coached them how to make those invitation calls quick and powerful. Once I started doing that, I discovered that my hostesses were able to get the number of guests I requested without much trouble at all. I just had to tell them the benefits of personally asking their friends to attend, and they would snap into action!

When you take the time to call the individuals on your team and invite them to an up-coming training event, they too feel personally invited. Do not be surprised to hear things like, "Oh, I didn't realize I could go to that," or "I didn't think I had a strong enough business to attend that."

When you personally ask people on your team to attend a special training event, like a National Conference, it is an opportunity for you to engage them in the possibility of stepping up to the plate and taking their business to the next level.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of asking is that you stand the most to gain. When you ask the people on your team to invest in themselves by attending a training, you demonstrate leadership. It is powerful to see someone invest in themselves simply because you asked, and it forces you to acknowledge that you absolutely have the potential to be a persuasive leader.

You are the direct seller a home party. A guest expresses interest in booking a party, but as soon as you pull out your calendar, her interest suddenly turns into an excuse – "Oh, I don't have my calendar with me, and besides I'm thinking of hosting a party in a few months. Can you call me in a few months?"

Being the conscientious salesperson, you make a note on your calendar to call this customer a few months down the road to book a home party. Because her enthusiasm and interest seemed so genuine, you think of that potential booking as a definite booking that is just a few months away.

A few months later, you call several times and leave messages, but you never get in touch with this person again because she never picks up her phone, and she never returns any of your messages.

This is when direct sellers ask me, "Is there anything I can say to get this customer to take or to return my calls?"
I do not know if there is something you can do at that point to rescue the situation, however, I do believe there are several things you can do to create a completely different situation.

One of the key things to remember is that no one thinks about having an unsuccessful home party. When a guest at a party entertains the idea of hosting a party, she envisions it with a good number of her friends all having fun socializing and liking the product line. In other words, it is important to her to have a successful party.

If you want to be effective in your sales business, you have to learn what your customers want and you need to learn how to get them what they want. If your customers want to have successful home parties, it stands to reason that your job is to help them have successful home parties.

So let me ask you, when a guest mentions that she wants to book a party, and she tells you to give her a call a few months from now, and you agree by taking down her phone number, exactly how are you helping her to have a successful party?

I know. I know. You don't want to be pushy. But seriously, how are you helping her to have a successful home party?

You have probably discovered that many of those people, who say they want to have a home party in a few months, never have a party. So I think it is fair to say that you are not helping your customers get what they want, when you agree to call them months down the road for a party date.

Okay now, I want to repeat something – effective salespeople learn what their customers want, and they show their customers how they can get what they want.

The missing link in this typical situation is that you need to communicate the key factor of a successful party, once one of the guests at a home party tells you that she wants to book a party with you.

One major reason why someone you met months ago at a party never takes or returns your calls is because she no longer feels the same excitement that she did the night she was at the party.

Another thing to consider is that she no longer feels connected to you, if you have waited all this time before following up with her. Finally, if she said she wanted to book a party three months from now, she knows what you are calling about three months down the road. Indeed, plenty of direct sellers even leave a message very similar to the following:

"Hello Jane, this is Tammy Stanley with ABC. I met you a few month's ago at Gigi's home party. You had said you wanted to book a party in the Spring, so I'm just calling to see what date you might have available this month. When you get a chance, give me a call at 480-777-XXXX."

Now you could leave a message like that and you could say it in the nicest tone of voice, but I can assure you that your customer interprets that message more like the following:

"Hello Jane, this is Tammy Stanley with ABC. I met you a few month's ago at Gigi's home party. You had said you wanted to book a party in the Spring. I did not forget that verbal commitment you made and now I am checking up on you to make sure you keep your commitment. So give me a call at 480-777-XXXX to let me know when you are going to keep your commitment."

No one really wants to be told that there is a commitment she needs to keep. While it sounded fun a few months ago to host one of those parties, it now sounds like a commitment -ugh!

Again, the missing link in this typical situation is that you need to communicate the key factor of a successful party, once one of the guests at a home party tells you that she wants to book with you.

It took me a good number of years to learn this, but as soon as someone would tell me that she was thinking about having a home party, I said:

"Oh great. I just want you to know that always my most successful shows are the ones that are booked in close, and the reason why is because you are far more excited about this product line tonight than you will be months down the road. If you get on the phone in the next few days and tell your friends and acquaintances that you are having a party, the enthusiasm you feel now will transfer to them, and they will want to come, and they will."

Do you see how ridiculous it would be to respond with, "Okay, I'm not really looking to have a successful party, so I'll wait and book three months from now"?

By communicating the key factor of a successful party, I easily persuaded my future hostess to want to book now as opposed to later.

As you review your business and you see things that are going in an unfavorable way, consider that one of the best remedies is to learn how to become a more persuasive individual. The more persuasive you are, the less resistance you encounter. The less resistance you encounter, the easier it is to sell and to book parties now as opposed to later!

You can get your business started, but then you can end up setting it completely aside, if some kind of unexpected challenge takes place in your life.

You can get started in one company only to decide that you would rather work for a different direct selling company.  Consider how many people you have tried to recruit, or have successfully recruited, who tried selling another Direct Selling or Network Marketing company’s products before yours.

Another scenario, just as common is that a good number of Direct Sellers and Network Marketers have stopped their business only to realize that they want to get it going again.

When you change your mind about something it can be embarrassing – not always but sometimes, and especially if you change your mind about something somewhat significant like a job or a business opportunity.

Consider some of the negative things your friends and family might think if you start selling an additional or another product line:

-There’s a sucker born every minute

-What a flake

-I guess he/she didn’t make any money with that last company

One reason Direct Sellers and Network Marketers have such difficulty getting on the phone and calling their friends and family as a means to get them started in their business is because they worry about people thinking those very things about them!

They wonder:  How can I possibly tell my friends and family that I have changed my mind?

Most of us can think of someone who announced that they were selling product line ABC, only to announce a year later that they were selling XYZ. Now, if that person I just described is you, no worries. It happens.

Who has never had a change of heart or mind about anything? My guess is that it has happened to everyone, and that means everyone has experienced the challenges that come with changing one’s mind.

My goal in this blog is two-fold -  I want to show you how you can contact your family and friends about any change of decision you have had, and simultaneously I will show you how to prevent them from refusing to take you and your business seriously.

The most effective way to dissolve your greatest fear is to face it head on and when it comes to an interaction with another individual, simply state what you worry that they are thinking. It really is that simple.

For booking a show:

“Hi Jane, it’s Tammy and I have to tell you I’ve been hesitant to make this call because I worried that you would just think I’m a flake and then dismiss me as a friend, which I really don’t want to happen.  But here is what’s going on: Last year I acted all excited about starting a business with ABC, and I even convinced you to host a home party for me. However, instead of being seriously committed to doing whatever it takes to get that business going, I gave up as soon as real effort was required. I now realize the mistakes I made and I truly want to give it another try. Is there any way that you would like to get some free ABC products this month by hosting a show for me and my newly resolved commitment to this business?”

For taking a look at the business opportunity:

“Hi James, it’s Tammy and I have to tell you I’ve been hesitant to make this call because I worried that you would just think I’m a flake and then dismiss me as a friend, which I really don’t want to happen.  But here is what’s going on: Last year I acted all excited about starting a business with ABC, and I even convinced you to come to an business opportunity meeting with me. However, instead of being seriously committed to doing whatever it takes to get that business going, I gave up as soon as real effort was required. I now realize the mistakes I made and I discovered another business that I am applying my newly resolved commitment to. Because I value your friendship and your opinion, would you consider taking a look at this business opportunity?”

The real problem is that you stall calling because you feel it is going to be embarrassing and you want to avoid humiliation at all costs. However, taking responsibility for one's life and one's actions is not disgraceful; it is heroic. When you are truly honest with other people, you set yourself apart from the average salesperson.

If you really want your friends and family to take you and your business seriously, be honest with them. Authenticity is what increases the chances of them helping you.

Just consider how would you feel if a friend called you and revealed what was stated above?